On Becoming a Coach

I was contacted over the summer via my Zoodango profile to participate in an interview for a publication targeted at youth and helping them to achieve more in life.  I thought it sounded like an interesting project so I sent back responses and just received back today the edited copy from Marcus  that will appear in various publications targeted at youth.  Here is the article...

Coaches exist in all fields and disciplines and many coaches in our lives don’t even carry the title “Coach.” Yet through their encouragement and investment, they have made a tremendous impact on our lives.

Coaches must be experts in their chosen field and passionate about their area of expertise. (It is difficult to be a great soccer coach if one is not passionate about soccer or has never played the game). They have lived through their own development and want to share their wisdom and experience with others. They are never happy with the status quo and are always striving to know more and become better in their fields.

In my own life, I once struggled making connections with people, sharing my ideas in groups, and displaying confidence in my communications.  I turned these weaknesses into strengths and now these are the exact areas where I am best at coaching others.

The first time I remember coaching people was in the first grade. I could already read because my grandmother spent many hours with me reading books. When reading was introduced in the first grade with the “See Jane” books, I was already reading at a more advanced level so I immediately worked with my classmates who were struggling. It just seemed like the natural thing to do—to help pull them up to my level in this area.

Through my school life and work life, I would master tasks and then share short cuts or help new people come up to speed. When I turned 18, I realized that I was confident academically, but had a low self-concept. I believed other people were superior to me, and I struggled with speaking to people, especially if they were older or more experienced.

I heard a speaker tell a story about a guy in Australia who was very poor and did not want to be poor anymore, so he read 2000 books on other successful people and now is one of the wealthiest people in Australia. I never found out if this story was true or an urban legend, but it sounded good to me at the time, so I immediately began a reading spree. I read biographies of people who overcame great obstacles and became great historical figures. I read business books to help improve my business vocabulary. I read self-help books to learn how to deal with people, speak in public, sell ideas, and influence others.

I immediately started to see a change in myself.  Soon, people who were much older and more successful started showing me the ropes. My income started rising, along with my confidence and by the age of 19, I was working for a Fortune 500 company in a sales support role, earning more money than I could have imagined at my young age.

I have always been interested in people and what makes them successful and not successful. Armed with this knowledge and with the help of my mentors I have become stronger and more confident in myself in my abilities. I still read about 3-4 books in these areas per month. I enjoy surrounding myself with people who are experts in other fields so I can be challenged and learn from them.

The truth is that for most of us, until we are out there working, we really don’t have an experience of our strengths or our passions. With the global view we enjoy today, having a breadth of knowledge can enhance our possibilities, versus just a depth of knowledge in one area.

I have one friend who was pressured from her parents to become a nurse, following the footsteps of several aunts, saying that they “made great money.” She heard this throughout her life from her mother who was also the family accountant and did the annual taxes for these aunties. She graduated from a top University with a $98K degree and jumped into her first nursing job. She absolutely hated it. After two years she was very depressed, realizing that her true dream was to be a music teacher. After about five years of being a full-time nurse and part-time music teacher, she went back to school for her music degree. She is now a full-time music instructor making more money than she ever did in nursing.

It may seem after hearing this story that the nursing degree was a total waste of money and time. However, a few years ago at a cousins wedding, she met a doctor who later became her husband. Even though she no longer practices nursing, she has a deeper understanding of her husband’s work and can have graphic conversations with him about procedures. If we studied further, we would probably also find that she uses knowledge gained from nursing on a daily or weekly basis, receiving even more of a return on her “investment” than a wonderful husband.

Once we acquire knowledge, it becomes part of us and we never know when we will need to apply it in life. The faster we can determine our strengths and passions, the sooner we can use this knowledge to develop the career of our dreams.

In today’s world, just having the technical knowledge about a field of study is not enough to get to the top. I know many brilliant engineers who were passed over for promotions because they are not good leaders. In today’s workplace, collaboration with others and fitting into a company’s culture is sometimes considered over and above the technical knowledge. This is where the younger generation has the true advantage and potential to pass up people with more experience. Just this week I was meeting with a VP of a company in the aerospace industry and he told me that he hires for culture fit and personality versus experience.

In any industry, what separates people from the masses is their ability to work with and connect with others. If you have a brilliant scientist who is great in the lab but is unable to communicate her findings and sell her superiors’ on a course of action, her brilliance is useless. The best way to get ahead in any profession today is twofold: first, by always doing a great job and second, by taking the time to build connections with others. In order to do this, we need to be confident reaching out to make the connection. This is where I struggled for so long in my earlier life and it was very costly for me. It is other people who will network for you when you need a job, funding for a project, acceptance into a club, or an introduction to a potential client. Coaching top executives is such a private endeavor that I cannot divulge the names of my clients.  The only way to gain new clients is by referral, based on my skills and our relationship.

The key to connecting with others is to have the attitude of “How I can I help?” rather than,  “How can they help me?”  With the new technology available and web 2.0 platforms, making and keeping connections is easier than ever. I wish I had kept in better contact with my college professors, peers, and classmates, but I didn’t see the value or have the confidence at the time to be the initiator. I am currently reading the great book Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi. Keith says that he has 5000 people in his Palm who will take his call. (http://www.keithferrazzi.com/) The 250 people in my Pocket PC is quite small in comparison and I realized that I need to work even harder at making connections with others.

When it comes to personal development, I cannot stress enough the importance of developing leadership competencies, speaking abilities, and confidence in sharing ideas. My advice is take advantage of participating in any program that is going to help you develop in these areas. These are skills I struggled with in the past and now coach others to strengthen. In addition, I would reach out to people in the business community -- ask what extracurricular activities they participate in and see if you can attend with them.

I have an associate in Seattle who is graduating this year from UW. I can’t tell you how many times I have run into him at business events. He is a master at developing his network and rubbing shoulders with people in roles he wants to occupy in the future. He has also paid for and attended leadership courses and sales related courses outside of his college to gain further insight. One of the best courses any young professional can take is the Dale Carnegie Course in Effective Communications and Human Relations (www.dalecarnegie.com).

I agree with Warren Buffett’s comments on a recent PBS special where he said that by going above and beyond the requirements in a particular area, a person is setting themselves up to be able to coach and train others in the future.

The coach’s role is to assist us in areas of our lives where we have been unsuccessful, unmotivated, or scared to develop on our own. Real estate agents, financial advisors, fitness trainers and other sole proprietors, all include some degree of coaching for their clients. They may be depending on the client to take action, yet if they are afraid of transitions and change, it is necessary to find ways to motivate them to push through the challenges. Being an expert financial advisor or fitness trainer with poor people-skills is not going to help us gain or keep our clients.

The reason I loved working with fitness trainers is they motivated me do what I was not willing to do on my own and they encouraged me along the way. I work to do the same for my clients and for people I care about in my life. The best way to motivate people is to praise their positive improvements and not criticize their mistakes. This way they will be encouraged to deal with the uncomfortable feelings associated with change. Pointing out their incremental results and how they are improving gives them fuel to continue the journey.

My joy in coaching happens when I see people (and companies) break through their imaginary ceiling and watch their excitement when they realize they are at a new level. It is fun to read about the companies or run into people months later and hear of their successes and new heights they have reached as a result of their breakthrough.

When I left the comfort of working for someone else with a national brand and client base to start my own company, I felt anxious. I quickly realized that I had been telling people for many years to step beyond their areas of comfort and now it was my turn to practice what I had been preaching. It is normal to feel anxious when we are charting new paths. The great thing is that during this time I received emails from several past students and friends who gave me the boost of confidence I needed to continue forging ahead. Again, my network of connections paid off and helped me in my time of need.

Just this week I met with my friend’s younger brother, Jay, who just graduated from WSU. Jay wants to go into sales but did not know what industry or product. I met with him with the goal of helping him narrow his focus and get interviews with a few companies that are aligned with his interests. After we were finished going over his results, he asked me if I was using any web 2.0 tools to promote my business. He explained that he had taken a course this past semester in college about web 2.0 and spent the next 45 minutes helping me get with the times.

Based on his recommendation I started a blog http://www.amyhedin.com/ and am considering podcasting.  So you see, when we connect with people to help them get ahead, we also may gain from the process.

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